Frat Code

Sometimes living in another country sucks. Especially when that country is next to France.

As I am writing this, I am sitting in my office still a little loopy from Saturday night's debauchery, rocking three days worth of frat scruff.

So I have been combating the homesickness by returning to my frat roots. I have definitely had some TFMs (total frat moves) in the past few weeks.

(http://www.fratty.net/ and http://www.fratdaddy.com/ are extremely helpful resources to you GDIs and the uninitiated.)

Besides utterly letting myself go physically, here are a few times I have channelled the spirit of T-Sparks ca. 2000.

TFM 1: staying classy.

My terrycloth robe is my classy attire du jour. Anchorman, inasmuch as it promotes gentleman class, is the latest frat-tastic film. An absolute must for any wanna-be fratter.

TFM 2: the bierlauf.

TFM 3: Obscene and uncalled for Jager consumption. Sometimes while wearing Jager sunglasses.

TFM 4: Smuggling an Oettinger into the art-house showing of 9 Songs.

TFM 5: Going to 9 Songs, which is basically a porno. And by basically, I mean it is.

TFM 6: Saying goodbye to underwear with jeans as well as exclusively buying (rather than washing) socks.

TFM 7: I have been wearing my Gonzaga hat since last Tuesday (which was a work day) until I arrived at work this morning.

TFM 8: only changing clothes once a day at 9 p.m.

TFM 9: Breakfast at McFreedom.

Observations and parallels: Oettinger is the natty light of Switzerland; Feldschlosschen the Keystone Light. Jack Wolfskin is REI, H&M is Old Navy. Euros can't handle a guy in flip-flops; too much flavor. Pickwick pub is the Earl's of Basel, Paddy Reilly's is Finn MacCool's, but it stays open later and has dancing downstairs.

The Swiss housemates frown upon cracking open a cold one after work; mid-week Champion's League takes the place of baseball. Switzerland and Europe in general are suffering from a dearth of koozies. Chicks gravitate towards the adidas jacket. A nice pair of kicks will solve any problem. Scandinavians and rugby players are frat-code. Guinness-out-the-pores is the new frat fragrance.

After one week of rain, the sun is shining brightly on the Crimson shingles of beautiful Basel, Switzerland. It's finally May and everyone's juicy bits are starting to tingle once again. Here's to a frat-tastic summer!