Sports Guy Intern Application

Hey all, here is my application to be the Sports Guy's intern.

I know it is too late to apply, but I thought I would give it a go anyways. I would have applied earlier but I had to return some videotapes.

Name: Andrew Winner

College: University of Washington, 2003

Residence: Basel, Switzerland

Current Job: Intern

Age: 23

A little background: the Seattle Mariners foolishly employed me as an intern for the 2003 baseball season, where I took my shinebox to Pat Gillick’s gator-skin boots. At least, when Stand Pat wasn’t in Toronto buying a house during the trade deadline. Hey, but at least I got October off!

My biggest regret/relief was not meeting Lou Piniella (he left for Tampa Bay that season — in return we got Randy Winn, who was our most consistent offensive threat in the second half. If that doesn’t tell you the state of the franchise, I don’t know what does) or seeing Sweet Lou on one of his famous nude post-game tirades. But a female intern the previous year did, and she subsequently refused to go back in the home clubhouse after games.

I’d say my obsession with sports started in junior high. When all my friends were making out with girls, I was rushing home to watch Lawrence Moten, God Shammgod, A.I. and the rest on ESPN’s Big Monday. (This may be why I have spent the past three Valentine’s Days at basketball games.)

In college, I served as the sports editor of the mighty student-run University of Washington Daily and liked it so much, I actually came back for a farewell tour AFTER I HAD GRADUATED.

Why do I want this job? Don’t know, really… I think it would be entertaining to look through all the emails people send you.

And I can tell you a few things I would do if I got the job.

Hype Vision Quest as the greatest sports movie of our generation. (bias – I am from Spokane, wrestled in high school and played Lunatic Fringe in our weight room.)
First link: Jaleel White’s blog on NBA.com
Try and track down some of the videos NBA players make during All-Star Weekend.

That’s all! Thanks for your time, and also thank you for making people like me feel normal despite our unhealthy obsessions for sports. I don’t look at Sports Guy World as a website, I look at it as a support group for pop-culture minutiae. You deserve a raise.